How’s YOUR retirement coming along?

 

Image via geralt of Pixabay

Do you think about it?

What are your first thoughts when you hear “retirement home?” Do you ever contemplate ending up in one of them? Is that a slight shudder, as we even think about such a situation for ourselves? 

Usually you think of these places as sort of warehouses for old people who’re no longer able to make any meaningful contribution to society. Indeed, unfortunately that seems often to be the case. You hear about huge tragedies like those during Covid-19 when it first went on the relentless rampage, killing many residents in care facilities.

It’s enough to make you fiercely determined to stay in your own home, no matter what happens in your life. You don’t want to be one of those poor individuals we’ve just mentioned, helpless, a sitting duck waiting for death in a prison.

But think about it. Can your house actually be a prison of your own making? Maybe your own home isn’t actually the best solution for someone who is infirm, might need lots of help, may have to even redesign your living space just so you can manage each day. 

Image via qimono of Pixabay

All the stuff

Usually homes come with stuff accumulated over the years. Have you used your stuff in the last year? Yeah, your very own house is lovely. You’ve poured all kinds of love and care into it. Of course that was when you were a lot younger. These days you’re dependent upon other young bodies to help you when you just can’t quite manage that home. 

These days you have to evaluate your movements carefully. If you kneel down anywhere, for any purpose, will you be able to get up again? It’s a problem. Can you move furniture around? Mop the floors? Do the laundry, make the bed? Joyfully set out on a lovely morning to attack the weeds in your garden?

If the answers to these questions are negative, I’m going to encourage you to change your perception. Lay it out. Start asking some questions of yourself. What do you want the rest of your life to look like?

You’ll notice many of the tasks above fall into the mundane or manual worker category. It happens. Over the years, with household needs, you’ve become a servant, nurse, cook, manager. 24/7. It happens slowly. You accept your role as a loving and responsible partner to someone who is quite happy with the situation. A narcissist. 

It’s important to know what that word means. Just in case you know one. Seems there are lots of me, me folks around us.

Via Lewis Huckstep of YouTube

Worth considering

So do some thinking, guys and gals. Do you really need a house of your own? Or can it be wiser, as you consider your needs, your ambitions, your joy in life, to consider really turning everything upside down? Selling, leaving a situation, donating your stuff, and possibly renting.

That is a major consideration these days. Rental accommodation, the kind you’d like, is overpriced and very hard to find. So you’d better have your ducks in a row if you plan to up stakes, have a good nest egg from your property, and be willing to do the hard things when it comes to moving. It isn’t easy.

There’s one kind of rental that you can miss, as you’re not looking for it. It’s the independent living, in a retirement building. Yes, the same type that gave you the shudders in my first paragraph here.

Independent retired living rental is not like assisted living, where you do need some help with bodily functions. You have to be able to manage. You pay a fixed amount each month. That pretty well covers everything you need. If you’re strapped for cash, you may even qualify for some government assistance.

If you find the right place it will probably be a well established slightly older building. The residents and staff will be very long term. That means everyone is happy and friendly. That’s the only kind of place you need to consider. 

The one I’m now familiar with brings breakfast to a little table outside your room. Then there are another two gourmet meals supplied throughout the day. Suddenly you’re living in a whole different world. It’s the one where you dreamed of more often getting, instead of always giving. Lots of social interaction…or none, according to your choice.

NO BREAKFAST-Early golf, thanks!

Image via VickiW

Creatives

If you’re a writer, all of a sudden you’re in a situation where you can write anytime, under any circumstances you choose, without interruption. This applies to other work or play situations too!

I always love your comments. They encourage more writing work from me. So thank you for reading here, and may you enjoy your life, in whichever way you choose it to be. 

Garden to kitchen!

Carrot muffins, still slightly warm from the oven, appeared on the breakfast menu this morning. Yesterday there were fruit scones, with raspberries donated from one of the resident’s garden. 

Anyone can reserve a generous garden bed, and grow their own particular delight. Sharing is caring!

Image via VickiW

Going Solo: Is this time to jump on an ice floe?

 

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Transitions

The stages of life are interesting. As you go through them each one leads to more knowledge of the lifetime you’ve been blessed to have, or, in war torn countries, the cursed and awful reality of it all.

Some lives are short, others last about a century. The fascinating thing about the stages though is you don’t really know about each one before experiencing it. 

Then you look back at the one you’ve just passed through, and congratulate yourself at how much more advanced you are these days.

The older you get the more mysterious you become. You’re being judged by those younger than you, and they’re all wondering how and why you keep on living. From their perspective, getting older is like actually lurking around the gates of hell. 

Is it a must?

Seriously, what’s the sense of living if your fingers aren’t nimble enough to operate your smart phone with ease? If you can’t plug in your printer because you know you can’t get up once you get down?

Image via krapalm of Pixabay

Or if you can actually live quite happily without being ruled by screens of some kind each and every day? 

Yeah, we, the older folks come from earlier places where the “global village” wasn’t yet thought of.

Where monks in remote places used to spend many happy hours in silent prayer with their Being. 

Now of course they have smart phones just like anyone else. These allow them not only to do their prayer jobs with much more efficiency, but also to be wide-ranging in this world of high tech everywhere. And so it goes. 

The global village 

...has morphed into a global screen catastrophe. Infants, often less than 12 months of age, are mesmerized by TVs, phones and handy other devices everywhere they go. 

The amount of vicious, tragic daily harm visited on each other in this world is startling. Where’s the feeling for the pain of others? 

Ever wondered why brain scientists and the World Health Organization recommend NO screen time for babies under two, and only one hour a day for those aged two to four years old? 

There is a lot of brain study research on screen use during these early years. What it clearly shows is that learning from other humans in a child’s life is massive. Learning from machines is quite different. 

The big concern is how screen learning hijacks attention spans and compassion in children. That young brain needs time to process learning. When you read to a child they have that time as they listen to your voice. This does not happen when a child watches rapid, unrealistic movements on a screen.

When they hear you talk of kindness to others, and see you demonstrate it in your daily life it is a powerful example. As they observe your resilience when hard things happen and you rise above it they know they can do the hard things too. 

Possibly one of the greatest things you can do for a child is interact with them as an interested older person. 

Yeah, I know. We thought we’d done our share. But we hadn’t counted on screens and technology. 

After all, these youngsters will inevitably run your country one day. 

If they didn’t learn to focus, analyze and develop compassion for you in your older years, the future looks quite bleak for you. 

I know. When you become of the senior persuasion you should try not to inconvenience the beautiful young ones with the bodies that still work as they should. 

Image via Myrians-Fotos of Pixabay

To be completely honest, for me to jump on an ice floe and make a graceful exit by starvation doesn’t exactly appeal to me. 

Golden era

Selfishly, in my latter years I would like to be pampered, respected and loved. I’ve managed to outlive many so far, and enjoy weird things, like being alone at times, reading an actual book, observing what’s happening up in the skies without actually traveling, going for walks, admiring all forms of nature. And yes, appreciating technology that allows me to communicate this to you. 

Would I have ended up being this me, if I’d been exposed to screens in my very early life? We’ll never know. 

One of my newer friends, 94 years of age, revealed the secret of her long life to me. “Lots of sugar, lots of salt. Lots of laughter.” She said it with a twinkle in her macular-degenerated eyes. Humour. That’s another thing you only learn from others during your early years.

Lithops in recovery mode

Whether you’re plant or animal, it’s a tough going to reproduce your species. Particularly if the slightest wrong move means your death.

 

Here’s a week's progress in the poor little collection of lithops I presented last week. 

Those young ones are bursting out at the lower levels. They really dislike the overstretched parenting examples they’ve been forced to live with. They’ve started to extract all the moisture from them. 

Thanks...

I sincerely appreciate your company on this journey and looking forward to having you back again soon.

VickiW

It’s good to be good, to your aging self

 

A somewhat embarrassing, yet necessary post

It’s been a while and I realize I'm out of practice in compiling a post. The weeks have gone by, almost unnoticed and my writing routine seemed to disappear into the grey beyond. 

My apologies to all of you who have steadily remained, waiting for me to write again. Friends texting, emailing, calling. I owe you all a debt of gratitude.

For many of us, when we live together for a couple decades, we often think we know the main person in our life. We forgive and forget the occasional craziness they show. In my case, with me at 80 years of age, and he at 91, I realize we’ve both been occasionally guilty of the same weird compulsions, although I must emphasize, in my case. I like to think much less often.

Life chugs on with a daily monotony that’s sometimes even comforting in its simplicity. No more travelling, unless it’s a walk downstairs, taking our garbage in the white bags, recycling in the blue ones, and kitchen scraps in the brown recyclable ones, to their assigned bins.

The years train us...

We learn how to bring out the compassion in our hearts, when needed. We tell ourselves, often on a daily basis, that things could be so much worse. That’s true. It’s an indisputable fact of life, and it’s an aspect that often qualifies for dull and boring.

But darn it, I don’t want boring! I crave better, but better has been elusive.  

Challenging transitions

Last year was a hard one. Moving away from much-loved friends and activities was painful indeed. On the plus side, my beloved family was suddenly close. That made it a good move. That has not changed, and I love it.

Things strike us down, when we get more mature. Forget the ridiculous business of “aging can be like becoming fine wine or the best, Parmesan cheese.” No, not unless we’re willing to go the heavily Botoxed route, and keep it up.

Not much to get excited over

We become painfully aware of our body’s shortcomings, and let’s not talk about the forgetfulness that besets us all of a sudden! Maybe it’s not that sudden…I forget when it started.…

Illness can strike with or without warning, and it can be serious enough to be life-threatening. It can mean the end, creeping on to the end or fighting on, out of sheer cussedness. 

Yeah, illness can suddenly become a very big deal!

We get texted invitations from our government advising to get yet another Covid shot. We’re in a vulnerable age apparently. Should we, or shouldn’t we?

After all, at least for me, there’s the unpleasant memory still lurking of a leg clot that took a year to recover from after contracting Covid-19…

As if all this wasn’t enough, I discovered my spouse wasn’t exactly who he’d professed to be, for all these years. 

I know it happens a lot with illness during the latter years, but this is different. Changing his will behind my back, nary a word said, was just a step too far over the proverbial red line. After all, this was our financial future, and I thought we’d been building it together for the years to come.  

This filing cabinet discovery meant there was only one option, and forgiveness didn’t even count. Trust had gone, never to return. 

The painful, yet necessary steps included separation and divorce. 

I immediately started legal proceedings.

Recently, I heard a female physician, 103 years old, describe the worst event in her life. She and her husband had been married 46 years. They did everything together, even down to writing books. 

One day, out of the blue, he asked her for a divorce. She was completely shattered. She screamed and cried. Years passed while she rose from the ashes of her marriage and built a career for herself. 

After another interval, with her new-found appreciation of her abilities she wrote a kind letter to her ex, thanking him for freeing her to grasp all the new opportunities in her life.

I’m looking forward to writing a similar letter of gratitude. 

Micro-Gardening: Glorious flowers everywhere! 

It’s worthwhile considering, even with the best of care, weather can be changeable and cause havoc in the plant world. 

This week I’ve noticed some pretty startling changes in my lithops succulents. 

Like a lot of other things in my life, they had been somewhat neglected. They didn’t get enough sunshine and stretched out to try and find it.  

This does provide us with an example of what plant-world determination can do to prevent catastrophe.

Image via VickiW

See the long one touching the label? The new one under it is determined to end up in its right place.

All of these lithops (living stones) are dividing and will look very different soon. They evolved in this way to protect themselves from animal predators in the desert of Namibia.

Thanks!

If you've experienced a sudden life change that forced you into a new normal, please share your experience in the comments. Even anonymous comments are welcome! VickiW