It’s good to be good, to your aging self

 

A somewhat embarrassing, yet necessary post

It’s been a while and I realize I'm out of practice in compiling a post. The weeks have gone by, almost unnoticed and my writing routine seemed to disappear into the grey beyond. 

My apologies to all of you who have steadily remained, waiting for me to write again. Friends texting, emailing, calling. I owe you all a debt of gratitude.

For many of us, when we live together for a couple decades, we often think we know the main person in our life. We forgive and forget the occasional craziness they show. In my case, with me at 80 years of age, and he at 91, I realize we’ve both been occasionally guilty of the same weird compulsions, although I must emphasize, in my case. I like to think much less often.

Life chugs on with a daily monotony that’s sometimes even comforting in its simplicity. No more travelling, unless it’s a walk downstairs, taking our garbage in the white bags, recycling in the blue ones, and kitchen scraps in the brown recyclable ones, to their assigned bins.

The years train us...

We learn how to bring out the compassion in our hearts, when needed. We tell ourselves, often on a daily basis, that things could be so much worse. That’s true. It’s an indisputable fact of life, and it’s an aspect that often qualifies for dull and boring.

But darn it, I don’t want boring! I crave better, but better has been elusive.  

Challenging transitions

Last year was a hard one. Moving away from much-loved friends and activities was painful indeed. On the plus side, my beloved family was suddenly close. That made it a good move. That has not changed, and I love it.

Things strike us down, when we get more mature. Forget the ridiculous business of “aging can be like becoming fine wine or the best, Parmesan cheese.” No, not unless we’re willing to go the heavily Botoxed route, and keep it up.

Not much to get excited over

We become painfully aware of our body’s shortcomings, and let’s not talk about the forgetfulness that besets us all of a sudden! Maybe it’s not that sudden…I forget when it started.…

Illness can strike with or without warning, and it can be serious enough to be life-threatening. It can mean the end, creeping on to the end or fighting on, out of sheer cussedness. 

Yeah, illness can suddenly become a very big deal!

We get texted invitations from our government advising to get yet another Covid shot. We’re in a vulnerable age apparently. Should we, or shouldn’t we?

After all, at least for me, there’s the unpleasant memory still lurking of a leg clot that took a year to recover from after contracting Covid-19…

As if all this wasn’t enough, I discovered my spouse wasn’t exactly who he’d professed to be, for all these years. 

I know it happens a lot with illness during the latter years, but this is different. Changing his will behind my back, nary a word said, was just a step too far over the proverbial red line. After all, this was our financial future, and I thought we’d been building it together for the years to come.  

This filing cabinet discovery meant there was only one option, and forgiveness didn’t even count. Trust had gone, never to return. 

The painful, yet necessary steps included separation and divorce. 

I immediately started legal proceedings.

Recently, I heard a female physician, 103 years old, describe the worst event in her life. She and her husband had been married 46 years. They did everything together, even down to writing books. 

One day, out of the blue, he asked her for a divorce. She was completely shattered. She screamed and cried. Years passed while she rose from the ashes of her marriage and built a career for herself. 

After another interval, with her new-found appreciation of her abilities she wrote a kind letter to her ex, thanking him for freeing her to grasp all the new opportunities in her life.

I’m looking forward to writing a similar letter of gratitude. 

Micro-Gardening: Glorious flowers everywhere! 

It’s worthwhile considering, even with the best of care, weather can be changeable and cause havoc in the plant world. 

This week I’ve noticed some pretty startling changes in my lithops succulents. 

Like a lot of other things in my life, they had been somewhat neglected. They didn’t get enough sunshine and stretched out to try and find it.  

This does provide us with an example of what plant-world determination can do to prevent catastrophe.

Image via VickiW

See the long one touching the label? The new one under it is determined to end up in its right place.

All of these lithops (living stones) are dividing and will look very different soon. They evolved in this way to protect themselves from animal predators in the desert of Namibia.

Thanks!

If you've experienced a sudden life change that forced you into a new normal, please share your experience in the comments. Even anonymous comments are welcome! VickiW