Senior Living 101: Brain Building

 

Image via congerdesign of Pixabay

Have yarn–will travel!

There’s a certain satisfaction when your instincts actually prove to be right. One of the things that seemed essential, when I left my previous home, was to make sure I packed my plentiful supply of yarn for knitting and crocheting. Somehow just knowing those beautiful, soft and colourful wool balls were with me no matter what happened, was comforting during a stressful time.

It wasn’t just the sight of them. It was the winding around my fingers as I manipulated threads and turned them into complex creations. It was the peace in my mind as my brain sought out unfamiliar patterns, and quietly achieved success in interpreting them.

Yarn creators…they’re everywhere!

My passionate love for knitting and crocheting inspired me to seek others with similar feelings online. Surprise! There have been studies on this topic. There are get-togethers known as knit-ins where knitters and others gather to enjoy the process. 

True to my own limited personal study, neuroscientists have found that knitting “activates areas of the brain that are good for generating a sense of calm, (and contribute to) improved emotional processing and better decision making”.

A knit-in gathering

In a survey of 3,545 knitters worldwide, respondents who knitted for relaxation, stress relief and creativity reported higher cognitive functioning, improved social contact and communication with others. 

It doesn’t have to be folks who know how to knit. Just handling the fibres seems to help people be happier. One of my important yarn helpers here is Betty, who complains about my inability to keep my yarns in neat order, but thrives as she untangles my messes and restores the balls to something easier to use! 

Workshops worldwide  have been held for preschoolers, retirees and sufferers of dementia and depression. Participants have included students, library and mental health service patrons, university staff and scientists, with expert guests ranging from dementia carers and mental health workers to neuroscientists and university researchers.

Working with yarn, because of  its mental challenges, social connection, (meeting with others) and mindfulness, helps keep brains fit by solving creative and mental challenges, developing eye-hand coordination and fine motor dexterity and increasing attention span.

Don’t be content to be a “used to” 

There are neural studies using yarn to show interested knit-in participants how actual brain neutrons work, by making their own interpretations of neurons. In this post we won’t go there, but we will know with certainty that when we interact with fibres we are alerting our brains to wake up and move with intent to learn.

Living in an independent retirement home gives wonderful creative opportunities for increasing your brain power and excitement in each day of life. Knitting and crocheting provide endless scope for fun and imagination, both crucial for brain building.

We have a comfy living room in my independent living facility home. There’s a well-stocked library in addition to several chairs. There are ornaments and flowers: a piano for music, a barista machine, and all-day pastries supplied by our incredible kitchen staff. 

People chat together. It’s nice. But somehow I feel there’s still something lacking. I’ve always enjoyed keeping my hands busy, and continue to take my knitting and crochet projects with me whenever I feel like company in the downstairs room.

My friends admire my work. I ask them whether they do any crochet or knitting, and most times the reply is they “used” to do it. Thy report making  all kinds of items for family and friends. You see the momentary tenderness as they remember. Then my big question is, “so why don’t you do it now?”

I’m still waiting for a satisfactory answer to that one. With most, it’s a deep sigh, and possibly another dug up memory. 

There was a very active knitting and crocheting community where I lived before moving here. It was vibrant and fun at the library where we worked. We tackled all kinds of interesting projects. I even made a video of elderly hands in amazing action.

WarnerWords: Beautiful Hands

I am so determined not to be a “used to” crochet and knitter here in my new home. As older folks for the most part, this is now our season to impart our knitting and crochet skills to others who can carry on with them.

Upgrades

Renovations are happening soon on this side of the building, so there is a shortage of my own plants. But lucky us, there is a beautiful little park next door that can be walked any time, and is so available. It is carefully tended by expert city staff.

It’s amazing to have this extra garden always available.

Images via VickiW

Thank you!

Your journey with me is always appreciated! I look forward to your interaction and suggestions in the comment section and hope you'll visit again soon!

VickiW

Senior Living 101: Life Seasons

 

Image via Pexels of Pixabay

Finding home

Remember how I told you about taking the time to go to the condo ( now sold, yay) where I lived with the narcissist ex-husband for far too long? I was foolishly thinking I might like to go back there, just on my own. Buy him out from my savings…

After all, it was a beautiful place.

While sitting in the silence of what used to be my home, I mentally compared the intrinsic value of living there, versus enjoying the amazingly wonderful situation I find myself in nowadays. It was not difficult to realize that I have passed my time as a condo/apartment dweller, and wow, my retirement situation is the absolute best place I could possibly be in these days.

A phrase keeps running through my mind. For everything there is a season. I realize my season for living alone in an apartment is over. Combine that with fetching, carrying, planning and caring for a completely ungrateful heartless narcissist, and that season is over too. All that remains is gratitude for everyday enjoyment in my independent retirement living space. 

I’ve been here for over a year now. In that time I’ve moved three times and divorced once. According to research on such things I should probably have succumbed to the trauma of it all! 

Some learned, powerful life lessons

1. Listen to your head when you see warning signals, and BEFORE you make the mistake. You don’t want to waste your precious time on earth catering to a lost cause. Saying this though, it’s never too late to change all kinds of things!

2. Family is hugely important. I don’t know how I would have managed to do everything required as a new life presented itself. But they all stepped up and have made sure I’m doing well, no matter what happens. Always show your appreciation, and NEVER demand. They have their own seasons in life.

Embrace your knowledge! As folks age, a lot of them will tell you about things they used to do. Looking back at your accomplishments can be satisfying. But looking forward gives you an opportunity to share your life learning constructively with others. In many cases, you’re able to learn new skills with new technology. Pure fun!

3. Conversation with others is crucial for the mind. As I continue living here I realize this is indeed an amazing benefit of being able to join others at any time in the communal lounge, or join in walks with friends. It’s all about communication with others, no invitation necessary, no planning required.

4. Use every strategy to manage stress. If you don't, your mind and body will let you know in uncomfortable and unforgiving ways. I haven’t been too great at that in the last couple of years. One of the ways I’ve paid for it is being unable to write. Hopefully, I will manage to regain some sort of momentum there. 

Micro-garden update

I have a small garden these days. It’s on my small balcony, and has been quite productive, thanks to a wonderful little planter. It was made in France, and is an incredibly clever way of growing my veggie plants. 

Only a few at a time, of course, but at the moment I have eight special, small cabbages under cover there, just starting to develop heads.

Earlier on, I had lettuce, beets and carrots. It was a lot of fun, and I still have a lot of beet tops in the freezer for later use. The interesting thing about the planter is the legs, and a certain area inside it is filled with cheap, extruded clay pellets, so watering is minimal. Also, I’m safe from pests with the easily adjustable covering.

Another fabulous planter is the one used for herbs. It can be turned around to advantage different plants. I supply many fresh herbs to our kitchen chef, and it’s wonderful that they are used in his delicious soups, etc.

Rotating herb garden.

Planter with cover on.

Planter with cover off, developing cabbages.

Extruded clay pellets.

Thank you!

I’m hoping now to be back on a regular basis. Thank you so much for your emails, and support whilst I’ve been away.

VickiW

Senior Living 101: How’s your brain development going?

                                                                           

 Still learning?

Can it be that youth truly is wasted on the young? Where did we get the idea that those plump young brains, active young bodies are all on the way up with their brain development? Does that mean after 60, you’re on the slippery slide of down?

You know how time flies when you’re a child? How years, months and even days just seem to disappear without any thought? They are so busy learning through new experiences that time is only measured in sleeps.

Be your own scientist

Maybe brain development is a lot slower than we think. Hah! Think it’s all completed at 21? That’s what we’re told by the academic studies, work done and evaluated by those supposedly much brighter and usually younger than us. 

Yes, the same guys and gals who at times seem to change their minds like their underwear. Yesterday coffee was bad. Today it seems that wasn’t quite right. It actually promotes a longer life. Wah, Wah, Wah…and so it goes. 

Lifelong learning

Those of us who’re moving on with life know that the knowledge we had at that young age is nothing when it’s compared to the brain building knowledge gained after experiences in a long life.

We all accept there are stages in life that healthy human beings go through on their quest for the next one.

Could it just be that maybe we’re not on an inevitable mental downside as we physically fumble our collective way through these last few decades of life? That possibly the amazing number of life experiences accumulated in our brains can actually increase our brain power right to the end?

Long-term

Yes, the main gist of long term memory main stories still seems intact. Love those 80-year-old stories! The ones that bore everyone else, but make me grateful to have them locked in the cranium.

Short-term

Short term, maybe not quite as reliable. But who really needs to focus on the bad news of a modern yesterday? Or what you had for dinner last night? Even doctors when they test you for your mental abilities only ask you if you know the day and date today. 

Just impress those on your mind from your daily list of to do, and to remind yourself. That’s all you need to remain brilliant in the eyes of those who watch your continuing progress in life.

Focus on finding fun

Another tip for the day, when you meet up with your buddies for meals or other events in the retirement home. Don’t get into any more conversations about health than you did as a child. Sometimes it seems that’s all your peers are interested in. Listen, but don’t get sucked in. So much else to deep-think about. 

In the recesses of my mind and getting gradually deeper there I cannot help but remember two bouts of mind-blowing Covid-19 events. (There we go, long term memory again!) I ended up with a long episode of Covid. Unpleasant after effects were a deep vein thrombosis in my leg, and tinnitus that still persists.

For a while I used a walker afterwards. Then came the cane. Exercises helped, but not as much as I’d like. Even in my present retirement living phase I initially used the elevator. 

Onward and upward!

The stairs that I could see through the glass doors on my floor fascinated me. They invited me to be daring, to conquer new heights. They were my private Everest mountain. 

Once I started using them, with their nice strong side rails, they became an addiction. Step by step I’d remember to use my strong foot first. Then bring up the weaker one. It was slow. The process reversed going down.

I looked for tips online. This guy, Shrey, helped my progress significantly through muscle development. I never used any equipment, just the stairs were available.

Now I can float up and down the stairs with ease. No side rails.My family is amazed. My daughter confessed she’d been thinking of the need for a home without stairs for the future, but now looks at them as a resource instead.

My astonished grandson told me I am now “boss” on the stairs!

Another tip. I discovered by turning my feet slightly outwards walking became easy. I’m now completely free of needing any support system, and can walk comfortably for long distances.

For me, this is another great advantage to life in the right independent living situation. Your time can be used productively. You can focus on and enjoy new ventures of many kinds.

Saffron corms update

Still no sign of life from the saffron part of my garden. Talk about easy-care crop. I dug up one of the corms planted. Seems healthy--just no action.

Original 30 corms

Image via VickiW

Markers indicate those corms should still be under there somewhere.
Image via VickiW

Thanks!

Thanks for reading! If this is your first time here please subscribe. It’s easy and free. That means you’ll get a notification of new posts in your inbox. That in turn means I get encouraged to write more…

VickiW

                                                                

Senior Living 101: Finding Your Own (Slightly) Club Med

 

Well, this is fun! 

In last week’s edition, I mentioned that retirement homes are considered by many to be your last stop in life. People when you confess your new living arrangements look at you with barely concealed pity, mixed with slight shudders. Will they end up in the same sad “fate?” 

Decisions, decisions...

For some reason it’s the same online. After last week’s blog  I had many emails expressing  shock at my decision to live in an independent living situation. Curiosity. Sadness. Bewilderment.  

After all, some folks have known me and my writing for many years. I guess this new step in living is part of me confronting the fact that life changes happen. 

Newsflash! 

Changes come fast and furious as you age! So amazing. So much to deal with. Such different perspectives that occupy your mind, if it isn’t in the process of being clouded by dementia. No one really knows what’s happening to others at that point. After all, not all dementia symptoms are created equal. There aren’t any dementia folks at my facility. Remember, it’s independent living.

There’s lots to love about being in my new situation. I’ve not met one person  who isn’t extremely grateful and proud to live here. Everyone lives here because of their life circumstances. Mostly it’s because of a bereavement in their lives that made them unable to continue living in their habitual ways. A few, like me, decide to jump in the deep end and learn to swim. 

Carolyn: Artist, friend to many, 7-year resident

One such person here started as one of my table mates, and has become a much-admired friend. She is 94, an ex-teacher, who used to ride a horse to a rural school for her classes. Carolyn has a wicked sense of humour, a deep appreciation of life, and loves to incorporate swear words into her conversation, “for emphasis” as she says. 

My friend, Carolyn, pictured in our diner/commercial kitchen area. The more formal dining room is one floor up.

She tried marriage once, as a very young girl. After ten years she decided it wasn’t for her, and divorced. After several more years she thought maybe it wasn’t as bad as she remembered and married again. It was. After another ten years she divorced. 

Now she has macular degeneration and a hearing deficit. But she also has a passion for both music and art. Go into her suite, and you are assailed by her wonderful paintings and numerous artistic model ships made from found pieces of bark and twigs. She has all the drawings for a children’s book that she plans. She just has to tell me the story!

Some snippets from this great artist 

Carolyn--the artist at work in her den

A small sample of her glorious art

Landscape–such a different mood

Interpretation of family kids as they’d look in a band

A collage of multimedia pieces

A singular multimedia piece

This is the wonderful thing about living in a caring, loving independent living facility. The major rule here is that you should feel happy, enjoying each day as you choose. Kindness to others is a given.

Choose a home that’s well established and has staff who’ve been in it for a long time. Many of the staff have been here for 4-7 years, and even longer.

You have time to enjoy your hobbies or work. You just show up for meals, no dishes to wash, no planning. No building maintenance, no taxes. Just concern for you and pampering if you need it. Hugs are always encouraged.

This is your very own quasi Club Med.

Edible eye-candy

In keeping with her free spirit, this year Carolyn has carefully tended an extravagant mixture of pumpkins, squash, runner beans, sweet peas, trumpet vine and other assorted flowering plants. This is guaranteed to fill your heart with joy and wonder. If you’re a humming bird it is pure delight.

Thank you!

Your comments and questions on this post are always appreciated and add to interest! Many thanks for coming here. Want to be notified when I write a post? Hit Subscribe and you’ll go on my weekly mailing list. It’s free, and I’m not selling you anything!

VickiW

Retirement Home Living: Is it easy?

 

The decision

I never thought I’d end up in my eighties renting a space in an independent living facility. It sounds so bleak, when you think of it that way.

There might be no better way to come fair and square against the circumstances that have brought you here. It gives you a gentle and very different look at the reality your own life. Everyone here is here because of life circumstances. Suddenly a new life appears in front of you.. If you had one in which every day you  became a caregiver, that’s gone. Isolation at home? That’s gone too. Your circumstances can be good, bad or very ugly. Up to you how you deal with being ripped from your routine.

Routine

In my facility your ordered breakfast is brought to you each day, much nicer than you used to make. Beautiful lunches and dinners served by folks who love their jobs and the residents. No dishes to wash, so your cute little dishwasher (just in case you decided to do some cooking) gets fairly minimal use.

What is independent living?

Let’s face it....

It’s a four-story, fairly large building, situated next to a busy highway. It used to consist of apartments, so essentially I have a full kitchen, combined dining/ living room, my own washer and dryer, and a den that I use as an office. There’s a bedroom, big enough for a single bed. 

When you go into independent retirement living you’re literally thrust into a situation where you make numerous considered daily choices to try and regain a certain balance in your life. You’re living in private, yet your meals and some activities are shared with 64 others. They don’t have to be; you can decide to retreat into your space with your food. But the downside of that is you may be losing out on making some really great friends.

The social scene

We have what can only be described as a large living room beyond the entrance to my independent living home building. Comfy, soft,  light coloured ( I don’t have to worry about cleaning them, thank goodness) chairs and sofas that invite you in, against  a backdrop of library books, and a pedal machine that you can use while reading, or whatever else.  

To complete this social space is a barista machine. Starbucks, eat your heart out. We can get any fancy drinks, or plain, at the touch of buttons, and they’re all free! A Our cooks provide cookies and other pastries, for residents, just in case you may need a snack before the next meal time.

A big basket of fresh fruit completes the picture.

Image via VickiW

Chatting to new friends is always good and interesting too. 

What do you think?

I’ve been here now for several months. Before I decided to try this independent style of living my mind had a preconceived opinion that it was one of many similar places that  folks would go to die. Yep, time to cast the old folks out and confine them to a shut in space. Out of sight, out of mind, until the funeral.

Reinforcing this idea is common in our population. It’s an unfortunate truth that our bodies do weaken in many respects as they age. Added to this is the annoyance of not being able to continue working for a wage. Often instead, you’re relegated to simply trying to make life less boring in your home, and realizing you need help with things you managed easily before.

Stay healthy!

I’m guessing though that folks don’t realize the difference between independent living and assisted living places. A qualifying mandatory medical examination by your doctor helps you understand whether you can manage this change in your living style.

Love the charity shop I’ve used to furnish this new living space! I had my original own bed, and my own recliner chair. Beyond this I was able to buy everything ( top quality) in the furnishings needed for less than $400. That didn’t include a brand new smart TV, a gift from my loving family. 

How much space do you need?

My space here is  smaller than I was used to. No question that being open and willing  to downsize is valuable, and can be a remarkably freeing experience. Just like most folks living in the outside world, you’re seeking happiness in your day to day life. But you’re the only one able to find it. It’s your very own Yin and Yang. 

Where’s the happiness?

Your happiness is unique to you. It helps to start finding it if you are able to define what you need as against what you’d like to keep. In my case for this move  I’ve stuck to this philosophy. So many things I thought I needed in the past have been donated to charity. No doubt they will fill the needs of others. 

There’s a lot to unpack here about independent living. If this interests you I’d love you to subscribe (it’s free!). That way you’ll be on my mailing newsletter each week.

Coming along beautifully!

Remember the spindly little acorn squash I put in my independent living garden bed in July after getting here? It grew! Looks like I’ll end up with four or five squash for Thanksgiving and overwintering.

July 21, planted in half my garden space

Same plant today

The other news about this is I harvested two of these lovely squash today. They will now be kept dry and warm on my little balcony before storing inside.

I knew they were mature because their skin is so hard my fingernail couldn’t penetrate! I made sure to cut a long enough piece of their withered stems that no unwelcome bacteria could enter them.

Images via VickiW

Thank you!

As always, many thanks for visiting and reading my posts, and I encourage you to share your thoughts on this week's subject in the comments!

VickiW

How’s YOUR retirement coming along?

 

Image via geralt of Pixabay

Do you think about it?

What are your first thoughts when you hear “retirement home?” Do you ever contemplate ending up in one of them? Is that a slight shudder, as we even think about such a situation for ourselves? 

Usually you think of these places as sort of warehouses for old people who’re no longer able to make any meaningful contribution to society. Indeed, unfortunately that seems often to be the case. You hear about huge tragedies like those during Covid-19 when it first went on the relentless rampage, killing many residents in care facilities.

It’s enough to make you fiercely determined to stay in your own home, no matter what happens in your life. You don’t want to be one of those poor individuals we’ve just mentioned, helpless, a sitting duck waiting for death in a prison.

But think about it. Can your house actually be a prison of your own making? Maybe your own home isn’t actually the best solution for someone who is infirm, might need lots of help, may have to even redesign your living space just so you can manage each day. 

Image via qimono of Pixabay

All the stuff

Usually homes come with stuff accumulated over the years. Have you used your stuff in the last year? Yeah, your very own house is lovely. You’ve poured all kinds of love and care into it. Of course that was when you were a lot younger. These days you’re dependent upon other young bodies to help you when you just can’t quite manage that home. 

These days you have to evaluate your movements carefully. If you kneel down anywhere, for any purpose, will you be able to get up again? It’s a problem. Can you move furniture around? Mop the floors? Do the laundry, make the bed? Joyfully set out on a lovely morning to attack the weeds in your garden?

If the answers to these questions are negative, I’m going to encourage you to change your perception. Lay it out. Start asking some questions of yourself. What do you want the rest of your life to look like?

You’ll notice many of the tasks above fall into the mundane or manual worker category. It happens. Over the years, with household needs, you’ve become a servant, nurse, cook, manager. 24/7. It happens slowly. You accept your role as a loving and responsible partner to someone who is quite happy with the situation. A narcissist. 

It’s important to know what that word means. Just in case you know one. Seems there are lots of me, me folks around us.

Via Lewis Huckstep of YouTube

Worth considering

So do some thinking, guys and gals. Do you really need a house of your own? Or can it be wiser, as you consider your needs, your ambitions, your joy in life, to consider really turning everything upside down? Selling, leaving a situation, donating your stuff, and possibly renting.

That is a major consideration these days. Rental accommodation, the kind you’d like, is overpriced and very hard to find. So you’d better have your ducks in a row if you plan to up stakes, have a good nest egg from your property, and be willing to do the hard things when it comes to moving. It isn’t easy.

There’s one kind of rental that you can miss, as you’re not looking for it. It’s the independent living, in a retirement building. Yes, the same type that gave you the shudders in my first paragraph here.

Independent retired living rental is not like assisted living, where you do need some help with bodily functions. You have to be able to manage. You pay a fixed amount each month. That pretty well covers everything you need. If you’re strapped for cash, you may even qualify for some government assistance.

If you find the right place it will probably be a well established slightly older building. The residents and staff will be very long term. That means everyone is happy and friendly. That’s the only kind of place you need to consider. 

The one I’m now familiar with brings breakfast to a little table outside your room. Then there are another two gourmet meals supplied throughout the day. Suddenly you’re living in a whole different world. It’s the one where you dreamed of more often getting, instead of always giving. Lots of social interaction…or none, according to your choice.

NO BREAKFAST-Early golf, thanks!

Image via VickiW

Creatives

If you’re a writer, all of a sudden you’re in a situation where you can write anytime, under any circumstances you choose, without interruption. This applies to other work or play situations too!

I always love your comments. They encourage more writing work from me. So thank you for reading here, and may you enjoy your life, in whichever way you choose it to be. 

Garden to kitchen!

Carrot muffins, still slightly warm from the oven, appeared on the breakfast menu this morning. Yesterday there were fruit scones, with raspberries donated from one of the resident’s garden. 

Anyone can reserve a generous garden bed, and grow their own particular delight. Sharing is caring!

Image via VickiW

Going Solo: Is this time to jump on an ice floe?

 

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Transitions

The stages of life are interesting. As you go through them each one leads to more knowledge of the lifetime you’ve been blessed to have, or, in war torn countries, the cursed and awful reality of it all.

Some lives are short, others last about a century. The fascinating thing about the stages though is you don’t really know about each one before experiencing it. 

Then you look back at the one you’ve just passed through, and congratulate yourself at how much more advanced you are these days.

The older you get the more mysterious you become. You’re being judged by those younger than you, and they’re all wondering how and why you keep on living. From their perspective, getting older is like actually lurking around the gates of hell. 

Is it a must?

Seriously, what’s the sense of living if your fingers aren’t nimble enough to operate your smart phone with ease? If you can’t plug in your printer because you know you can’t get up once you get down?

Image via krapalm of Pixabay

Or if you can actually live quite happily without being ruled by screens of some kind each and every day? 

Yeah, we, the older folks come from earlier places where the “global village” wasn’t yet thought of.

Where monks in remote places used to spend many happy hours in silent prayer with their Being. 

Now of course they have smart phones just like anyone else. These allow them not only to do their prayer jobs with much more efficiency, but also to be wide-ranging in this world of high tech everywhere. And so it goes. 

The global village 

...has morphed into a global screen catastrophe. Infants, often less than 12 months of age, are mesmerized by TVs, phones and handy other devices everywhere they go. 

The amount of vicious, tragic daily harm visited on each other in this world is startling. Where’s the feeling for the pain of others? 

Ever wondered why brain scientists and the World Health Organization recommend NO screen time for babies under two, and only one hour a day for those aged two to four years old? 

There is a lot of brain study research on screen use during these early years. What it clearly shows is that learning from other humans in a child’s life is massive. Learning from machines is quite different. 

The big concern is how screen learning hijacks attention spans and compassion in children. That young brain needs time to process learning. When you read to a child they have that time as they listen to your voice. This does not happen when a child watches rapid, unrealistic movements on a screen.

When they hear you talk of kindness to others, and see you demonstrate it in your daily life it is a powerful example. As they observe your resilience when hard things happen and you rise above it they know they can do the hard things too. 

Possibly one of the greatest things you can do for a child is interact with them as an interested older person. 

Yeah, I know. We thought we’d done our share. But we hadn’t counted on screens and technology. 

After all, these youngsters will inevitably run your country one day. 

If they didn’t learn to focus, analyze and develop compassion for you in your older years, the future looks quite bleak for you. 

I know. When you become of the senior persuasion you should try not to inconvenience the beautiful young ones with the bodies that still work as they should. 

Image via Myrians-Fotos of Pixabay

To be completely honest, for me to jump on an ice floe and make a graceful exit by starvation doesn’t exactly appeal to me. 

Golden era

Selfishly, in my latter years I would like to be pampered, respected and loved. I’ve managed to outlive many so far, and enjoy weird things, like being alone at times, reading an actual book, observing what’s happening up in the skies without actually traveling, going for walks, admiring all forms of nature. And yes, appreciating technology that allows me to communicate this to you. 

Would I have ended up being this me, if I’d been exposed to screens in my very early life? We’ll never know. 

One of my newer friends, 94 years of age, revealed the secret of her long life to me. “Lots of sugar, lots of salt. Lots of laughter.” She said it with a twinkle in her macular-degenerated eyes. Humour. That’s another thing you only learn from others during your early years.

Lithops in recovery mode

Whether you’re plant or animal, it’s a tough going to reproduce your species. Particularly if the slightest wrong move means your death.

 

Here’s a week's progress in the poor little collection of lithops I presented last week. 

Those young ones are bursting out at the lower levels. They really dislike the overstretched parenting examples they’ve been forced to live with. They’ve started to extract all the moisture from them. 

Thanks...

I sincerely appreciate your company on this journey and looking forward to having you back again soon.

VickiW

It’s good to be good, to your aging self

 

A somewhat embarrassing, yet necessary post

It’s been a while and I realize I'm out of practice in compiling a post. The weeks have gone by, almost unnoticed and my writing routine seemed to disappear into the grey beyond. 

My apologies to all of you who have steadily remained, waiting for me to write again. Friends texting, emailing, calling. I owe you all a debt of gratitude.

For many of us, when we live together for a couple decades, we often think we know the main person in our life. We forgive and forget the occasional craziness they show. In my case, with me at 80 years of age, and he at 91, I realize we’ve both been occasionally guilty of the same weird compulsions, although I must emphasize, in my case. I like to think much less often.

Life chugs on with a daily monotony that’s sometimes even comforting in its simplicity. No more travelling, unless it’s a walk downstairs, taking our garbage in the white bags, recycling in the blue ones, and kitchen scraps in the brown recyclable ones, to their assigned bins.

The years train us...

We learn how to bring out the compassion in our hearts, when needed. We tell ourselves, often on a daily basis, that things could be so much worse. That’s true. It’s an indisputable fact of life, and it’s an aspect that often qualifies for dull and boring.

But darn it, I don’t want boring! I crave better, but better has been elusive.  

Challenging transitions

Last year was a hard one. Moving away from much-loved friends and activities was painful indeed. On the plus side, my beloved family was suddenly close. That made it a good move. That has not changed, and I love it.

Things strike us down, when we get more mature. Forget the ridiculous business of “aging can be like becoming fine wine or the best, Parmesan cheese.” No, not unless we’re willing to go the heavily Botoxed route, and keep it up.

Not much to get excited over

We become painfully aware of our body’s shortcomings, and let’s not talk about the forgetfulness that besets us all of a sudden! Maybe it’s not that sudden…I forget when it started.…

Illness can strike with or without warning, and it can be serious enough to be life-threatening. It can mean the end, creeping on to the end or fighting on, out of sheer cussedness. 

Yeah, illness can suddenly become a very big deal!

We get texted invitations from our government advising to get yet another Covid shot. We’re in a vulnerable age apparently. Should we, or shouldn’t we?

After all, at least for me, there’s the unpleasant memory still lurking of a leg clot that took a year to recover from after contracting Covid-19…

As if all this wasn’t enough, I discovered my spouse wasn’t exactly who he’d professed to be, for all these years. 

I know it happens a lot with illness during the latter years, but this is different. Changing his will behind my back, nary a word said, was just a step too far over the proverbial red line. After all, this was our financial future, and I thought we’d been building it together for the years to come.  

This filing cabinet discovery meant there was only one option, and forgiveness didn’t even count. Trust had gone, never to return. 

The painful, yet necessary steps included separation and divorce. 

I immediately started legal proceedings.

Recently, I heard a female physician, 103 years old, describe the worst event in her life. She and her husband had been married 46 years. They did everything together, even down to writing books. 

One day, out of the blue, he asked her for a divorce. She was completely shattered. She screamed and cried. Years passed while she rose from the ashes of her marriage and built a career for herself. 

After another interval, with her new-found appreciation of her abilities she wrote a kind letter to her ex, thanking him for freeing her to grasp all the new opportunities in her life.

I’m looking forward to writing a similar letter of gratitude. 

Micro-Gardening: Glorious flowers everywhere! 

It’s worthwhile considering, even with the best of care, weather can be changeable and cause havoc in the plant world. 

This week I’ve noticed some pretty startling changes in my lithops succulents. 

Like a lot of other things in my life, they had been somewhat neglected. They didn’t get enough sunshine and stretched out to try and find it.  

This does provide us with an example of what plant-world determination can do to prevent catastrophe.

Image via VickiW

See the long one touching the label? The new one under it is determined to end up in its right place.

All of these lithops (living stones) are dividing and will look very different soon. They evolved in this way to protect themselves from animal predators in the desert of Namibia.

Thanks!

If you've experienced a sudden life change that forced you into a new normal, please share your experience in the comments. Even anonymous comments are welcome! VickiW

Reno done… NOW we’re cookin’!

 

Image via Carola68 of Pixabay

Welcome back!

It’s been a while! The word that best seems to describe it since the big move from Sechelt is “fraught”. 

A relatively simple word, yet according to dictionary definitions it may be used to define many types of situations, none of which are particularly peaceful or relaxed.

Words like anxious, stressed, self-query, as in “why did I do this?”

Everything is fraught!

But today is different. The kitchen renovation is completed. I’ve survived two major hurdles in life. Moving from my beloved Sechelt and friends to be closer to family was the right move at the right time. 

The kitchen was another matter entirely. I’d almost managed to convince myself that cooking in a room that was like a dark box wasn’t really that bad. You just get used to it. Quite amazing really. That was quite a life lesson.

Image via VickiW

Original kitchen, showing part of the peninsula forming a box, with overhead cabinets that destroyed light and sight.

The boxy kitchen

Image via VickiW

I really couldn’t imagine anything different. A rainy winter. The darkness of the weather seemed to coordinate with the lack of modern lighting in the home, so that it all just didn’t matter any more. 

The old, sunshine ceiling.
Image via VickiW

The wall between the kitchen and proposed dining room, that needed to go.

Image via VickiW

Lighting it up!

We had decided from the beginning that a newer, lighter kitchen would help things a lot. I had finally decided on a crew to do the work after a good recommendation from our lovely realtor. She had nurtured us through the move and well after.

The first two husky guys known as “demolishers” came by bright and early, at 7.30 am. 

Just before that a dazed looking Bob had tottered through to the living room. Obviously something was very wrong. The two young men helped him back into the bed and stayed with him while I called the paramedics.

Anyway, long story, and he was in emergency, then in a hospital ward for a week. 

At times like this you realize how important organization is. The project manager proved to be amazing. He presented us with a program detailing what would happen each day, until the end of the project. He estimated the new and improved kitchen would take just over a month to completion. (...polite small snorts of derision from friends about my trusting belief that this would happen on time...) But, it did.

Image via VickiW

Applaudable attention to detail!

They put up huge sheets of plastic like curtains to protect the rest of the house and they vacuumed and cleaned up after themselves each day.

Cam, our delightful, conscientious manager, visited about every day to inspect or work on each stage as it completed. He seemed to have an endless list of folks who knew exactly what to do, and when they were to do it.

They removed debris each day too and made sure to keep the toilet clean!

Looking through the plastic film. Floor to ceiling, but the dust still settles on everything.

Image via VickiW

A calm progression...

In spite of all their efforts, the amount of dust that escaped into the rest of the home was just amazing. I had bought an air purifier in Sechelt, when we were surrounded by fires, and now you could see it gnashing it’s virtual teeth as it tried to keep up with interior air pollution.

While all this was going on we had family support in any way they could think of. That move was definitely a good thing, in spite of the fact that I was now a fully fledged caregiver. More about that soon. But it is definitely fraught!

After at first anxiously looking through each day’s progress, I suddenly became calm. There was no feeling of complete chaos, as I’d been warned. It was a joy to watch the competent skill sets that each small team of journeymen applied to their particular part of the project. 

I’m proud of our journeymen. No wonder these days kids want to qualify and be one. They are spurning university studies in favour of trade schools. Makes sense if you think about it. So much new housing is needed. Journeymen can get good employment anywhere.

This was no easy fix. All necessary  old materials needed to be carefully removed, bagged if necessary, and packed in a big truck for disposal.

Image via VickiW

This was the time when the doorway and an annoying wall that stopped all work flow were removed. See the big beam that now runs across the space where the wall and door were gone..

Now there was a naked ceiling. It was packed with huge depths of pink insulation. On the surface were special acoustic bars that prevent noise transfer between the top and bottom condos. Amazing,  the difference between building 40 years ago and now. 

Below, is the temporary small sink is going in. It was so good to have, rather than using the bathroom sink!

Image via VickiW

Making due...

I’m not going to pretend renovation is easy. Being able to keep the original fridge/freezer and stove was a bonus.

A microwave turned out to be the only means of cooking, although in summer it would be easy to cook out on the balcony. By the end of the month though, reno-fatigue has set in, no matter how kind everyone is. 

Image via VickiW

The finale

Work proceeded just as it was supposed to. Suddenly beautiful results started to appear. after everything had been ripped apart for so long. Flooring, cabinets, sink, appliances were all there. A beautiful big open space with tons of cupboard space, enough lovely floor to dance on, and a beautiful little dining area. 

Moving to a new community and new home is not easy. Putting your own stamp on the new place requires an energy that is often hard to find as you age. 

The kindest, nicest people around you make the best seasoning for your daily work in home and kitchen. When you’re able to look on the renovation with delight, and use it just the way you hoped you could, it definitely seems worthwhile!

Putting it all together

A creek-side stroll

Our feathered neighbors and other beautiful aspects of life along the creek.

Mama goose, sitting on her eggs. Papa goose, not far away, was hissing at passersby, but he quieted with some gentle acknowledgement. 

 

Images via VickiW

Morning reflections...

Thank you!

I hope you’ve enjoyed your visit, and appreciate your interest in my re-homing adventures, from Canada’s Sunshine Coast to the mainland. Although challenging, many good things are coming from it.

VickiW