Finding home
Remember how I told you about taking the time to go to the condo ( now sold, yay) where I lived with the narcissist ex-husband for far too long? I was foolishly thinking I might like to go back there, just on my own. Buy him out from my savings…
After all, it was a beautiful place.
While sitting in the silence of what used to be my home, I mentally compared the intrinsic value of living there, versus enjoying the amazingly wonderful situation I find myself in nowadays. It was not difficult to realize that I have passed my time as a condo/apartment dweller, and wow, my retirement situation is the absolute best place I could possibly be in these days.
A phrase keeps running through my mind. For everything there is a season. I realize my season for living alone in an apartment is over. Combine that with fetching, carrying, planning and caring for a completely ungrateful heartless narcissist, and that season is over too. All that remains is gratitude for everyday enjoyment in my independent retirement living space.
I’ve been here for over a year now. In that time I’ve moved three times and divorced once. According to research on such things I should probably have succumbed to the trauma of it all!
Some learned, powerful life lessons
1. Listen to your head when you see warning signals, and BEFORE you make the mistake. You don’t want to waste your precious time on earth catering to a lost cause. Saying this though, it’s never too late to change all kinds of things!
2. Family is hugely important. I don’t know how I would have managed to do everything required as a new life presented itself. But they all stepped up and have made sure I’m doing well, no matter what happens. Always show your appreciation, and NEVER demand. They have their own seasons in life.
Embrace your knowledge! As folks age, a lot of them will tell you about things they used to do. Looking back at your accomplishments can be satisfying. But looking forward gives you an opportunity to share your life learning constructively with others. In many cases, you’re able to learn new skills with new technology. Pure fun!
3. Conversation with others is crucial for the mind. As I continue living here I realize this is indeed an amazing benefit of being able to join others at any time in the communal lounge, or join in walks with friends. It’s all about communication with others, no invitation necessary, no planning required.
4. Use every strategy to manage stress. If you don't, your mind and body will let you know in uncomfortable and unforgiving ways. I haven’t been too great at that in the last couple of years. One of the ways I’ve paid for it is being unable to write. Hopefully, I will manage to regain some sort of momentum there.
Micro-garden update
I have a small garden these days. It’s on my small balcony, and has been quite productive, thanks to a wonderful little planter. It was made in France, and is an incredibly clever way of growing my veggie plants.
Only a few at a time, of course, but at the moment I have eight special, small cabbages under cover there, just starting to develop heads.
Earlier on, I had lettuce, beets and carrots. It was a lot of fun, and I still have a lot of beet tops in the freezer for later use. The interesting thing about the planter is the legs, and a certain area inside it is filled with cheap, extruded clay pellets, so watering is minimal. Also, I’m safe from pests with the easily adjustable covering.
Another fabulous planter is the one used for herbs. It can be turned around to advantage different plants. I supply many fresh herbs to our kitchen chef, and it’s wonderful that they are used in his delicious soups, etc.
Rotating herb garden.
Planter with cover on.
Planter with cover off, developing cabbages.
Extruded clay pellets.
Thank you!
I’m hoping now to be back on a regular basis. Thank you so much for your emails, and support whilst I’ve been away.
VickiW
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