Delayed Gratification: Why it's a good thing...

 

In this time when so many younger folks seem to want everything  now, and even quicker if possible, it's good to remind those with young children about an interesting study from long ago.

I've often thought about the Stanford University delayed gratification studies, with preschoolers. Each child could choose between having a marshmallow immediately ( in the late 60’s children still thought of a marshmallow as a treat and not a right) or if they could wait for 15 minutes they were told they could have two marshmallows.

Ultimately, many years later the researchers have proved that if a child could wait for the marshmallows they would have better life outcomes in many areas.

Fast forward to now

These children now have children of their own. I wondered if the same study would reveal the same answers.

Well, it seems the Rochester university decided to revisit that marshmallow study, and found one very major difference. It's not only the genetic makeup of a child that allows them to wait for a reward, but the stability in their lives. 

 

So if a child feels he/she can trust the adults around them to follow through on promises, they will opt for delayed gratification and success. If not they make the rational decision to get the reward while they can. 

Without trust it's much harder for children to succeed in life.

There has been ongoing vigorous debate in early childhood development circles for many years about whether "nature or nurture" is the most crucial for healthy development. I love that this study seems to indicate both are equally important.

Thanks!

Hope you've found this both interesting and helpful, and that you'll consider sharing it with others who may also benefit from the information. 

Also, if you have any experiences of thoughts on this topic, please share them in a comment below. I'd love to read all about it!

'Til next time,

VickiW

Childhood Trauma: Long lasting effects?

 

It’s taken all the considerable years of my lifetime for me to fully realize the lasting effects of early childhood trauma and experiences. Possibly one of the greatest places to study this is in the rich environment of a senior’s retirement facility.

There is plenty of time for reflection and recollection of early life, with all the things that gave us wisdom, sadness and joyfulness. 

How long do you remember? 

Summer Child via tilixia of Pixabay

Seems like we are programmed to remember those early experiences as long as we live and think.

First story 

I noticed one of the women who comes into the communal breakfast dining room, appeared to be quite ill. She was shaky and unable to walk well. 

It had been very hot, and I asked if she would drink some water. She looked at me in pure horror, and whispered she couldn’t drink water. I supported her to her suite. She wasn’t able to talk much, but still seemed to be dehydrated. Finally she consented to drink some orange juice from the fridge.

I explained the importance of keeping hydrated, especially with older folks, who often don’t realize they’re thirsty. Not drinking enough water causes them to slip into delirium. During hot weather especially, emergency wards fill up with patients who simply forgot to drink water! Guess what the treatment is? Rehydration with water, or if too far gone they will give you a saline drip.

Amy then told me she has never forgotten how, as a toddler, somehow she was in a large tub of water that was used to store cans of milk in the farm. barn. She remembers looking up into a light above her. She could see her dad talking to another man, and they both had their backs to her. Suddenly she also noticed her very pregnant mother running towards her screaming. But with no sound.Amy felt quite peaceful, just looking up into the lightbulb above her.

After that she doesn’t remember much. But from that day on whenever she tried to drink water from a glass she would choke. She had younger sisters who learned to swim long before her, because she couldn’t put her head under water.

Now in her eighties, in a retirement living facility, she could choose to drink juices rather than water. This made sense because even after all this time, water from a glass made her choke. Juice was okay. But even so, she would never drink very much of it.

While I was with her we found a lovely, large insulated beverage flask given to her by her brother. She filled it with water, and was amazed, delighted to find she could drink from that without choking. I don’t see her often, but I notice she always has plenty to drink. She says the flask has been a huge help.

Note on this trauma. Her children reported she had never talked about it until now, even though she had experience of emergency ward admissions in the past for dehydration.

Second story: Tender care–can the lack of it ruin a life forever?

Another of my peer group shared with me how she somehow survived a childhood with an alcoholic mother. Growing up meant a constant need to find food. No such thing as what we would call a balanced meal. Love was not spoken of or demonstrated. She first ran away into the city at 11 years of age. Police found her, scolded her and returned her to her home.

Samantha married and divorced at an early age, after bearing two sons. She would never allow them to have contact with her original family, or have any alcohol in her home. She has been rewarded by seeing her sons develop into caring and responsible people.

Samantha has continued to have major battles in her own life. The trauma experienced as a child shows in various ways even though she lives in a kind and caring situation in our retirement home now. Food and her own weight is a constant preoccupation, made even more frustrating by procrastination issues

She finds comfort by keeping her home in a state of chaos. Tidiness is threatening and uncomfortable to her.

Third story

A resident, one of 10 siblings, confided her first sight of her beloved grandmother, who presumably helped her mother stay sane. She had just a few strands of long hair, but pulled them back into a neat bun. She would gather the children in the evening and read stories to them. She was incredibly loving, kind and patient with the children. Now in old age, that memory has guided the resident to follow her modeling.

Crosby, Stills and Nash & Young: Teach Your Children Well

It is breathtaking to realize every resident here has their unique story of their own early experiences and thoughts. One of the most important things about living in this situation is the communication that happens in shared activities and talking to each other.

Retired seniors often fear living in an independent retirement facility. After a considerable time spent here, I really think it can be a very stimulating and rewarding way to live. 

I’ve made a point of asking fellow residents what they like best about living in this retirement facility. Responses are immediate, male or female. It’s the residents and staff! 

The days are getting shorter now, and darker. The smoke from hundreds of devastating wildfires has cleared. The mountains rise sharply against the ever changing skies.

I am now pulling the last of my gorgeous carrots from their container in my balcony garden. Doing a small cleanup there. The humming birds are thirsty, going from the feeder to all the flowers, as videoed in my last weeks post. 

Literally, steps away from our front door, in a busy part of town, is my ornamental garden. It is a wonderful space, carefully and skilfully tended to by my city gardeners. I just walk, appreciate and admire. 

There are benches, an incredible collection of trees and skilfully chosen shrubs, with lovely seasonal colour. It is a little park.

Images via VickiW

Thank you!

My sincere thanks for your visit to my site. You may, nor may not know it, but your participation is a great help to the independent business community!

If you have any thoughts or personal experiences with childhood trauma, please leave a comment below. I'd love read all about it!

Until next time, 

VickiW

Food Therapy: Easiest everyday sourdough bread

 

Is it a seasonal thing?

Any season is the right season for making bread, but if you're not in the habit of it, autumn is a great time to start!

Homemade bread is sooo much better for you! 

There are loads of varieties you can make, that will save you money and improve your health right in your own kitchen, or even when camping.

In light of my recent transition to Blogger, I'm reviving some older posts from my previous site, to ensure new readers here have access to all the good stuff! I first published this wonderful recipe way back in 2013 and hope it'll inspire the new folks to give it a try!

Knowledge is power
The first thing you have to do is get rid of the idea that making bread is a fiddly, difficult thing to do. Not this kind! No kneading, and it fits into anyone's life.

I'm not going into the How's, Why's and Wherefore's of these ingredients, but this is what you need to make some delicious, basic sourdough bread. 

That aside, here we go!

Directions and ingredientsIn a stand mixer, or with a hefty wooden spoon and a bowl, mix the following ingredients together:

☙ 3 cups of water, slightly warm. ( yes, tap water is just fine. That's what I use.)

☙ 1 1/2 Tablespoons granulated yeast ( rising time varies according to the kind you choose. Use less if you prefer. It will just take longer.)

☙1 1/2  Tablespoons coarse Kosher salt. (use about half this if you only have table salt. It's finer. It controls the rising of the bread, and helps with the flavor.)

☙ 6 1/2 cups UNBLEACHED bread flour. (All-purpose works too, the bread will have a slightly softer texture.) Use a dry measuring cup.

Image via VickiW

Method

Mix well together, until there are no dry patches. The mixture should be smooth, and quite slack. That is how you get wonderful results and those lovely spongy little holes!

Image via VickiW

Leave in the large mixing bowl until the dough doubles in size.

Use right away if you want, or leave it in a refrigerator for up to 10 days, just taking off pieces of it for buns and bread. The longer you leave it, the more those little sourdough bacteria get to do their work of maturing and flavouring the dough!

Shape it

Take your pieces of dough, and gently pull the gluten cover down to the bottom of each, making a ball. You’ll see what I mean! Today we are making loaves you can use for sandwiches, so gently make an oblong shape for each. You will need a couple of nonstick bread pans. You also need enough dough in each ball that will come about halfway up the pans.

Cover with greased plastic wrap. Let rise to double. If you are working, you can just plunk the pans into the fridge to rise, and be ready for when you get home. 

Bake the bread

Oven temp should be around 475F° for 15 minutes, then lower to 400F° to finish. I use an instant-read thermometer, which should read 200F°, and then you know it is perfect.

Image via VickiW

To keep

Never keep it in the fridge! It keeps well with sliced side down on the counter for a day or two. To always have bread on hand, slice it, wrap in 6 slice portions with plastic wrap, then put them into a Ziplock bag and freeze.

Remove however many slices you need at a time. It’s always wonderfully fresh. 

I use my kitchen slicer for this. Look at that beautiful, spongy texture, otherwise known by bakers as "the crumb".

   

Images via VickiW

Thank you!

Hope you've enjoyed this little blast from the past in bread-making and found the content useful, and thank you so much for visiting today!

Are you a bread baker? If so, I'd love to hear from you and hope you'll share your favourite breads to make in a comment below.

VickiW

Are seniors the new lost generation?

 

I had a business appointment with a lovely young lady. Remember, in my time of life everyone in their 30s is a young person these days! 

We sat in her office. It had all the right things, nicely painted, little artificial plants in tiny decorative containers, tasteful wall decorations. 

Of course, pride-of-place, was her computer monitor. It was one of two prominently displayed. 

She showed me how she could even stand up to use it. Better for the exercise needed instead of sitting too much.

Communication: Old style and new

What followed was quite a disjointed conversation. This was because I was doing most of the talking and she was multi-tasking from four different angles. These seemed to be checking things on her computer, examining documents on her desk, gulping mouthfuls of a salad, and offering a few words to me, in between staff interruptions.

Hmm... Different brain development, I told myself. 

Gone is the time when someone in this position would lay all things aside and just communicate, even with some eye contact with the person who had made an appointment for some focused attention in a matter. Then again, I belong to the older generation. That tends to set me apart. 

It’s interesting how we seem to move through life with our peer groups. Now we seek out others who might understand some part of the extraordinary long life we’ve lived. 

Writers: Old style and new

I’m an observer, and following on that, a writer. 

Writers, even older ones, love to meet others who share the same interest. I loved our little critique writing group on the Sunshine Coast of British Columbia.  Thought it would be easy to find another group in my present retirement situation with fellow oldsters. But no, apparently writers are not a hot item here. 

I started to notice a woman who sat out on her balcony, obviously writing on many days. Hope sprang up, and meeting her in the elevator one day I asked if she was writing out there. She laughingly explained she was just going through all her lottery tickets, and never does any writing. Emails take care of any writing she might need. Writing has undergone a metamorphosis too. Think AI. 

Lots of online writers groups. But that’s not what I crave. No, it’s the joy of meeting a few friends, actually face to face, hearing about their new discoveries, listening to them as they read their work aloud, and waiting for a kind critique. Losing that particular group from my life has resulted in ongoing pain and regret.

Moving from the ocean views to the daily grand mountain ones was not a bad move. Above all, it meant I could be close to my ever-loving family, and for me, in older age, that is beyond all other considerations. 

People have changed

That's obvious in conversations here. 

Sometimes I sit in the communal living room here and listen to the talk around me. A lot of it is repetitive, long term memory stuff. Some phrases are common. They begin with “I used to…”. I’ll attempt to argue, by asking why they don’t continue on with their previous interests. Always the answer is they don’t have to do said interests any longer. They just want to enjoy doing nothing, without the responsibilities they had as younger people.

Lots of talk about younger folks too. How they’re killing and maiming themselves with the e-bikes and scooters as they speed along. No license apparently needed, or even crash helmets. Heaven forbid they should have any restrictions, as we have had during our entire fuddy-duddy lives. One of the most amazing news incidents lately is that a child on a plane refused to sit and put a seatbelt on before takeoff. The plane had to return to the gate, and passengers had to stay over one night before flying the next day, sans child and parent.

Yes, there was a parent with the child! 

Window perspective

I’m inside most of the week right now, thanks to the wildfires. They’ve been altogether too close for comfort. Literally thousands of evacuations, with lots of folks suddenly losing everything they’ve had. 

The mountains, usually so spectacular, are now hidden behind a daily screen of smoke. The sunrise and sunset are seen as a red ball in what we can imagine is the sky. Today is the start of the Abbotsford Air Show. Unfortunately this year there is heavy smoke pollution.

I feel so blessed to be able to live in my lovely home, actually even to have my home. Today I donated to the Red Cross. It seemed the right thing to do.

This year I focused on balcony planting for the humming birds. I focused mostly on vermillion cuphea. Small flowers that the hummers adore. 

The small balcony ensures that I’m able to see and admire them really close up.

Thank you!

Your interest and participation in my work brings me joy and is always appreciated. Many thanks for your maintaining with me on this journey.

VickiW

Bye, bye Weebly! Hello Blogger!

 

Hi to all of you who’ve read my work on Weebly, some for more than 15 years! 

It's been a wonderful journey and what a long way we've come together!

For many of us change can be an unwelcome yet necessary challenge, especially when it involves things out of our control. However, in order to proceed with our work, hobbies and general living, it’s something most of us have to do eventually.

This is one of those situations, and after much consideration, I believe Blogger will be the better platform for me to work with, moving forward.

I'll miss the beautiful graphics on Weebly, but my Blogger site has its own, unique charm that I hope you'll enjoy, as well.

We can all get used to this new space together

Best thoughts,

VickiW